Zip's Tailgate Rules 2002

Zip's Patriots Tailgate Rules (Information): 2003 Season

Greetings, Salutations and Risibility! Welcome to the Tailgate 'Rules' for the 2003 Season. Home of the recently and soon to be World Champion New England Patriots! This page is intended for those fortunate few who will occupy my additional ticket for each and every game. While many join us routinely within the confines of the famous Foxboro Tailgate environs, these few take responsibility for planning the event with me for the game! Since my eyes don't let me drive and the sellouts don't let them attend, we work together to make the absolute most of our Foxboro/Patriot experience together. As an incentive to help us make the most of the day I've developed this little 'contest' which should entirely be interpreted as a means for US to have the most fun with the entire experience! While it is true that I do rank folks on a point system, this rarely reflects overmuch on the friendship, effort or abilities of the person joining me. It has long been assured we always have a great experience and these rules help us evaluate future selections by defining some evaluation points for the entire experience Quite frankly luck and the team's performance are the two greatest factors setting apart the contestants. We always have a great day, the challenge is in having a slightly more great day than your rivals! Certainly a total lack of effort can impact our fun negatively but I've generally noticed that everyone puts in a great effort and those above factors whittle the order of finish to its final form.

That said, I don't entirely enjoy doing a point assignment because frankly everyone puts a lot of effort into the day and I have a great time at almost every tailgate/game experience. However there are some benefits to be had by the mock contest and it does make it easier to determine attendance for playoff games and the ever important game selection 'draft.' As such I continue the process this year with the disclaimer that all of the efforts are equally appreciated. Likewise I look forward with great enthusiasm for each of our games. Through the years, the fundamental premise of our sojourn remains unchanged: a couple of friends getting together to make a highly entertaining and memorable event of each Patriots game. The basic constituents are the minimum two individuals and of course the game. However this has become embellished over the years with the intent of maximizing our entertainment and creating a bit of competitive rivalry which provides some reasonable reward to the victors. In the proverbial nutshell: I rate the games for their entertainment value based on fun, BEvERages, fun, foods, fun and of course fun. The higher rankings have playoff options (I told you this would matter again!) and preferred game selection for the following year. Many of you know well that value having joined me for a meaningless game in December whose only redeeming feature was the battle for the first pick in the following year’s draft. Not so for the winners of the Lombardi trophy which included a free Superbowl trip for Jose. Having scored well and won the lottery system I run to select the winner, he may be the biggest winner yet After a slack year in which the team fell short of expectations, the Pats are now poised for another playoff run - anyone else want to join me at the Superbowl? So without further adieu, I bring you the highlighted changes and the new rating system for the ensuing year.

As always I provide tickets and supply a veritable plethora of tailgating supplies as per your request. Again this year I no longer pay for parking which is a direct result of my having to pay double the price for my tickets which now are $99 each. This however should never exclude anyone and with a bit of notice I will take on the expense. You are also responsible for transportation, eats, drinks and entertainment -heck at your request I’ll finance or acquire the eats and drinks. It is clearly intended to have little to do with money and everything to do with enjoyment! The points reflect the emphasis on fun and thus if you are developing an itinerary or relying on spontaneity, realize that the points are in the fun WE (that being you the other attendee AND myself as well as a few folk likely to drop by the tailgate) have together. To enhance that aspect I am reasonably capable of supplying any item you can think of for our trip if you provide a little notice (like a week not an hour). So let me know at least one week before the game what items you want me to bring, the standard list includes such items as: Ostend, canopy!, table, grill, chairs, flags and cooler but often encompasses TV, generator, heater.... One of the more significant problems actually involves having room to transport the plethora of equipment I've collected over the years. Obviously I make do with the room we have and enjoyment always follows but it helps to have room to bring the tools for our trade! I do like a spectacle and I like our tailgate to be a spectacle that others enjoy. It attracts folks for us to meet and this always results in the swapping of stories, football thoughts and general good times. To me that is a major part of the day and I hope for you as well.

One change from previous years, is the confirmation our tailgate will always consist of a core group consisting of roughly 10 standard friends who make every tailgate. Karen, Al, Monty, Lisa, Dana, Robin, Lou, Laureen & Larry are a base with Darren, Miguel and others being frequent attendees as well. There is almost always food for the masses present and much sharing of favorite culinary and libatious delights.

On the topic of fun, here's a few notices of significance: no food or drink may be brought into the stadium, profanity and rowdy behavior will not be tolerated by event staff, smoking is not allowed and of course semiautomatics are likewise prohibited. In accordance with the rise in popularity there is a tightening of security's enforcement. Thus you'll note that game food and drink have been removed from the point totals and I am personally discouraging the acts of smuggling that have highlighted many a past game. Simply put, the enforced security reduces the worth-risk ratio sufficiently that I'd rather ensure each of your attendance beside me than have that smuggled bottle. Now it seems that snack food has been fully sanctioned by the Foxboro crew and it is only those items of an alcoholic nature or weapons of destruction (like Bino's Chili) which are being forbidden. While on that depressing topic I'll also give the SISsy notice (Statement of Intent for Sobriety) which is to say that amongst our food and drink before the game, I will intend to ensure that although I may reach some levels of alcohol induced euphoria, I wish to arrive at each game with a sufficient amount of sobriety such that my viewing is not impaired either by the alcohol, eviction or most especially the bars on the cell of Foxboro's holding tank. I doubt this will actually impact our fun but I wanted you all aware of the SISsy disclaimer. This rule has now long been in effect and I'm quite happy we have achieved an excellent level of appreciation for the true details of significance: friendship, football and an atmosphere of jovality.

Now, without further distraction, the highly touted, much anticipated 2002 rating system:

Arrival Time to My Location: (5 points)
I am prepared at your discretion but I make as much of a day as possible and enjoy sharing every bit of that fun with my weekly guest. If the early hour is too much then join me the night before, I have the room for you. Just ensure I have a time to expect you which gets us there on time - and then achieve that very time! It is a 1.2 hour drive to the Stadium and the lots open 4 hours before the game. It is my desire to be there 4.5 hours before the game so we are talking about at least 5.5 hours prior to kickoff!

Traveling Fun: (5 points)
Never a wasted opportunity even in the commute. The stone-faced barely conscious approach doesn’t match the buildup for our game. We drive places all the time but we only drive to the game together once a year, let’s add some spectacle. Think theme and think football! The must under-valued portion of the points, this is a sure place to get ahead of your competition.

Lot Arrival Time: (20 points)
The timely admission to the lot is essential to my desired lot stability. When the lot opens I like to be there claiming Zip's Corner. This pays further dividends with tailgate setup as well! Plan 4+ hours before the game as our arrival time... travel time is roughly 1.2 hours for those traveling below the speed of light.

Tailgating Setup: (10 points)
Zip’s Lot Legend is building, be a part of it by enhancing the tailgate design. We always have a grill and tables…be brave design something radical. The canopy is near essential as well and small enough to be worthy of inclusion. What else will draw people to us and make us stand out? How much can you aid me in my struggles to get it setup quick and efficient and in the right place!

Tailgating Entertainment: (20 points)
First and foremost I wish it to be time we spend together. For all the side hoopla (which I love), I still want the game to feature our spending time together. So whether tossing the pigskin (less now of course), shooting the bull or something innovative, the activities are as important as the design. It could be cool talk, it could be stick the dart in Tuna, Dart Football, Bronco Shoes or it could be coed Naked Twister (well preferably not given the male dominated tailgate world!) - the key is that it should be fun for us definitely and where possible and appropriate entertaining for the throng of our fellow tailgaters! Also be aware that my vision does somewhat hamper a few activities although you likely won't hear me complain in attempting most anything!

BEvERages: (5 points)
Never underestimate the power of invigorative elixirs. Coupled with a theme can make this a parking lot favorite. I always appreciate creativity and originality but let's face it, you can't beat a Bruschi Brew! Of course the best points (spelled B O N U S) come from fitting into an appropriate theme for the day!

Eats: (5 points)
Never mind healthy: raw gluttonous decadence rates big. Even larger are those cool additions like "Buffalo Wings" or "Dolphin Steaks." Know the team we are facing and let's 'feast' on them early and late! Basically a pre and post game eating session occurs - while we dodge sitting in traffic lines. Simple snacks around that keep us happy in the waiting times. No dietary restrictions exist on Game Day!

Face painting: (5 points)
It’s become a trademark although some recent drop off did occur. Now we have film crews capturing the process and lines forming to join us so let's ensure it takes place once again.

Patriots Theme Song: (0 points)
No points? Then why list it? This lost bit of tradition was always enjoyable for me. You can bet it raises the fun rating in other sections should you decide to work it out. Any song may be used as the basis with the emphasis being on your careful wordplay to make it an entertaining Patriot Theme Song. I would like to dedicate this song to Mike Belis for originating Football Carols and to Rob Webber for dominating in this category. The tailgate folk eagerly await Rob's next creation and crowd calling peformance.

Comprehensive Entertainment: (10 points)
Beginning to end, through and through, did the day kick-for both of us? Here is where all the little details of fun and coolness throughout the day result in points for you. It's entirely about fun throughout the day.

Style & Originality: (10 points)
Has it been done? Did it have flair ... did it win us women?

Bonus Points: (5 points)
These are awarded for individual acts of coolness above and beyond the call of duty such as wearing patriots attire. This is a large category but you are on your own. Did you yell louder than me through the entire game? Does the tailgate crew want you to attend instead of me?

Secret Off the Chart Bonus Points:
You receive one bonus point for every additional game you attend (presuming you join us) either at home or at my home! This is all part of the spectacle which makes the events so much fun for me. These are the points which sway the tight races for final standings.

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